I enjoy my life. I am usually peaceful - till I work too much (which I still do too often). When I work too hard, sometimes emotional and physical pain overwhelms me like today on the 8th day of my nine-day Rebirthing and spiritual purification training. I am conducting the training in my center in Germany, in September 2000. Now I am lying in front of my fire, and had to cancel a promised Rebirthing session. I could not give one more - overwhelmed by headache and nausea, as a result of the emotional healing that occurred with my help and guidance for each of the trainees.
The training is fantastic. It moved all participants (of course including me) to a new space in life and with Rebirthing. Again I could see how spiritual community heals people, where alone I can't help but give up. It saves relationships from the separation trauma and opens new doors for all. I experience the beauty of human relationships all around the world. The feeling of a deep connection and love with so many beautiful friends can be lived in the training. Gratitude just to know these friends and feeling the flow of energy between us, without expectation or words being necessary. Just to be in the presence of friends. Telepathic, nonverbal communication develops. I am grateful for Leonard's teachings. I know his qualities as a true teacher, a sad guru. His personal teachings to me are clear and straight foreward. I realize the truth in his words and writings. He still moves me into age regressions in our personal connection. It shows me where I still need healing and that there is always more to learn. But the foundation for my spiritual progress is now solid and imbedded in my daily routine. They are the practices with earth, air, water and fire and mantra yoga to heal my emotional mind.
Leonard has helped me through many incidences to see the dark side of my soul. I love the new discovered consciousness I can live in all my relationships if I choose to and some day I will be detached, healed and free of games and sorrow.
Next week I will go to Brazil and Argentina for a 2 month seminar tour, each weekend a different place and seminar and three seven-day trainings before I return to Germany. Marcia will be my companion and translator during this time. I am excited. I love Brazil and the Brazilian people. They are good for my German heart. Brazilian hearts combined with my German ability to organize and create discipline and determination is wonderful. I have become a teacher for many. My intuition steadily increases as well as the ability to support people. I love what I do. I live the gospel of spiritual purification in my daily life. I am self-sufficient, standing on my own feet, and easily receive guidance for my life and follow the rules of mastery. I plan to take people to India in April after Easter. We will spend time in Haidakhan, Rishikesh and Badrinath with a group of Brazilian Rebirthers.
I am developing my own power to be a divine equal as well as a follower of the truth. I am forever grateful to Leonard for giving me the tools to a more and more wholesome, joyful life. No matter how much he has ever upset me, I always kept my loyalty on the spiritual level. I encourage all the people I work with to develop a successful relationship with Leonard. He is a good complementing energy to my energy. I have realized I could never disconnect my work and teaching from his, even now that I am not personally working with him. People who work with me need his energy, his balance and wisdom and ability to love as much as mine. If people have a relationship with Leonard, it supports my work. His writings are a true inspiration and guideline for a life in truth, simplicity and love, a life in God. His energy adds to the success of my work. For this reason I will never disconnect my work from his, no matter how much emotional healing I have to endure or enjoy. I have undergone so many healing processes while being plugged in by him - healing my anger, jealousy, my sibling rivalry case, hate, worries and deep sorrow over the last 9 years, that my work and personal life has become more beautiful, and mostly peaceful. I trust in the love of God and more in the love of people, even when it is colored by emotional regressions and emotional immaturity, as much as mine has been and sometimes still is.
He is my spiritual teacher whether our lives are personally connected or not.
I am still lying in front of the fire while I contemplate this. During this week, I gave to 3 new people 2 sessions each, plus 2 other sessions and all the seminars. I was available to all from morning to evening even on the fasting day. I love my service, my karma yoga, but I knocked myself out. Service liberates us unless we do too much without replenishing the energy we spend and take care of ourself. I am lying here with this headache and nausea but have no regrets to have worked so hard. I know the fire eventually will clean it up, hopefully today. I can't stand up. After some hours of lying, my bones hurt. When I get up my headache increases. I feel like a wounded deer. I have the feeling I am breaking down under a load of emotional energy, EEP as Leonard calls it.
However, I love all the participants in my training. I myself have received so much from them. But I can't be in the presence of another aura right now. I had to retreat to my apartment, allow myself to be non-functional, and lock my door. I am glad to live alone right now. I could only live with someone who has the same needs as I and much space. The work takes all of me, service to God and humanity and I can only rely on God and the elements to help me through the temporary discomfort. It stays temporary if I keep healing my self, fast enough. Leonard threatened I would end up totally burned out if I don't take care of my self, but fire has been a part in my daily life for 10 years. I choose to work so hard but the pain always disappears when I do the practices. I enjoy the results of my work and it makes me a better and stronger person.
The trainees are wonderful people from all around Germany. Alfredo from Italy came, as well as people from Holland and Poland. After I became non-functional, they took care of themselves by rebirthing each other. After each training, I have new friends for life.
I took my 2nd bath and lay a while in front of the fire (my breathing had to be very soft and as gentle as possible). I gave myself Reiki, took some vitamins and channeled energy to myself to heal and asked Babaji for His help. I slept a little, had another bath and the pain lifted after 2am at night. Menstruating at the same time gives me even more the desire to retreat. The next morning, I had a shoulder arm syndrome and couldn't lift my arm. Alfredo gave me a Shiatzu massage and suggested that I take a rest. But how? I gave another 2 Rebirthing sessions and with the beautiful help of all trainees, we cleaned up the center. The shoulder arm syndrome disappeared after the evening bath. The bath and fire enable me to have another successful, productive day tomorrow.
Jai Maha Maya Ki Jai!!! Praise to the physical universe and the ability to master my body.
Om Acharya Makhan Singh Rajrishi

A Comment by Leonard
Sometimes, I'm asked if the practices are for women as well as men. The answer is yes. Because of menstruation, which is a special gift of God for involuntary spiritual purification in women, women soemtimes need less soaking, less fasting, less time with the fire, less exercise, and less Energy Breathing. But sometimes, they need more - it depends on their lifestyle.
The main point seems to be that everyone needs as much spiritual purification as possible until we get rid of our collection. When we get rid of our collection of emotional energy pollution (EEP) from the past, then we only have to get rid of what we are exposed to daily. This is usually very easy - depending upon the quality of our interactions with people.